Wally’s bad luck

Originally published on May 8, 2016

5.8.16
Just before dinner last night I noticed a small pool of water on the floor in the kitchen. Things were busy at the time. The boys had already been called to eat. Leo was pulling placemats off the table. So I left the water where it was.

The meal was a lamb and lentil ragu. Even before I sat down, a clamor went up from each end of the table for grated parmesan. We said a hasty grace over the top of Leo’s loud demands. Once served, he stuffed his face awkwardly with angel hair.

After a few mouthfuls, we started to talk, about the kids we’d met at the park that afternoon and the airplane Wally had made that morning, which he declared his best project ever. While staring into the middle distance at a vase of hyacinth, bought that afternoon for Mother’s Day, I posed the question: Which flower names are also girls’ names?

We soon came up with Rose, Lily, Violet, and Iris. Jay offered dandelion as a joke, which went over pretty well, then a minute later he repeated it, and the second time, it really sent Wally laughing.

Dinner often deteriorates into silliness. Not the good kind, as far as Caroline and I are concerned. Last night dandelion was the spark that set Jay and Wally off. Wally quickly fanned the flames with a verse of his favorite nonsense song, inspired by the title character in a series Jay has been reading lately: Junie B. Jones, Junie B. Jones, Junie-Junie-Junie-Junie-Junie B. Jones. Soon the walls were spinning all around.

Caroline and I responded with our usual litany of threats. If you don’t calm down, you’ll have to leave the table. If you don’t stop, you won’t get a yogurt. The boys usually pull back from the brink, but for the rest of the night they have little margin for error. A giggle, a dropped spoon- innocent events in normal times- easily become the straw that breaks their parents’ patience.

And so last night Wally murmured “Junie B. Jones” one too many times and got sent from the table, with orders to bus his dishes as he went. I was in the kitchen at the time, standing at the sink, and I saw Wally enter the room out of the corner of my eye. He held his plate between his hands, with his half-finished glass of milk balanced on top. He approached the counter, raised his dishes to set them down. Then he fell, his plate crashing, his glass crashing, milk splattering all over the place. Here was the moment I’d been waiting for.

From a foot away, I reacted instinctively. I grabbed him roughly by the shoulders, hoisted him into the air, and carried him briskly toward his room. “This is what happens when you don’t stop being silly,” I said, as I set him down hard on his bed.

Wally cried hysterically. Back in the kitchen, I enjoyed the sound of his wailing as I knelt down on the floor and cleaned up his milk. When I was done, I went back into his room to calm him down. Through heaving breaths he tried to talk. Eventually he managed to speak. “It wasn’t my fault,” he said. “I slipped on some water.”

Ahh, that’s right, I thought, the puddle I hadn’t cleaned up before dinner. It had been exactly where Wally had fallen. In a quick turn, I understood the injustice that Wally must have been feeling. What an unfortunate turn of events had come his way. Yet even as I sympathized, I thought to tell him- in life, there’s a lot of room to make your own luck.

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